Free Stress Test

Unparalleled Calm
Uneducated drivel
Unbearable noise


You asked, “ Do you still want to be friends?”

I sighed, “I don’t know”

But inside my heart I said, “You know that saying that goes ‘Maybe when you’re more in love with your memories than the person sanding in front of you, you need to let go?’

Because sometimes that’s what I think. I sit alone…


Fourth of July 2013, New York City


Fourth of July 2013, New York City

A fox lies in a field, as the sun becomes abrasive

Too weak to move

Too weak to want

The field grows as time passes

Higher and higher

Until the fox is finally free from the shackles of the light

The sun sets,

taking its time to peak through the tress in the distance

As the fox rises time begins to slow

And it sees the beauty of another day passing

Strong, with the assuredness that the sun will no longer suppress it

The fox runs freely to the trees in the distance.

Proud, in his conquer of another day

But the fox doesn’t know

That the sun is always on the horizon

And dawn breaks

Regardless of the hopes of foxes

And men.

Anonymous said: as long as there are fresh young bodies willing to throw themselves into the meat grinder of being a touring band for a few years with little in return besides the opportunity to yell and play guitars at a room full of strangers and eat shitty vegan food, the price of hardcore shows isnt going to change. outside of jam bands and edm (and maybe juggalos), there's no genre that depends on the live show as much as hardcore. you'd think people would learn to put more value on it.


This is actually the only part of this whole ‘pay hardcore bands fairly’ conversation that upsets me. Like, sad upset.

You’re right. To most hardcore kids, bands are interchangeable. [Until they go to grad school and don’t have time to keep up on music. Then it’s “I really want to like these new bands, but there’s just no one doing it the way _______ did.”] As long as there’s always a band to fill the void, the quality of the band doesn’t matter and the quality of that bandmembers’ lives sure as shit does not matter.

As a dude who is really into music, this idea just sucks. It’s like people who replace their dog with another the day after the animal dies. Or, people who get new partners in a week. It illustrates that the role was the crucial thing, not the individual. When people do that with bands, it gives me the same creeped out feeling I get whenever the individual is undervalued.

Chillin with my dudes


Oh shit. I didn’t realize this was officially up for people to listen to. 

I really love this song. It’s the Self Defense side of the split with Meredith Hunter. And it’s available for preorder now, at the Run For Cover Records website. 


the year I would’ve been a college graduate.

the year I may have finally left home

the year I may have stopped wasting my talents

the year I may have discovered those talents

the year I may have made something of myself

the year I may have become sober

the year I may have found my passion

the year I may have found happiness

the year I may have found a job worthwhile

the year I may have found peace

the year I may have spent with those I love and miss

the year I may have done nothing


the year my best friend joined me across the country

the year I lost a love I’d never known

the year I solidified my stake in a job that I hate

the year my depression returned

the year I learned more than I’d like to know about life

the year of hating anyone physically fit

the year of immense revulsion

the year of back pains neck pains liver pains stomach pains head pains

the year of sulking on her windowsill

the year I quit smoking

the year I started smoking again

the year I started hating myself as much as I hate everything else.

the year I turn twenty two

the year I lose myself

the year I promised would be better

the year I promised her would be better

the year of lying awake late at night while cats fight outside my window

the year of buying a bottle of whiskey nightly

the year of avoiding problems

the year of refusing to be better

the year of feeling sorry for myself

the year of bad poems

the year of unfinished projects

the year of misery

and the year of death.

but nonetheless,

the year I may decide who exactly it is that I am.

the station reeks of bleach

making me light headed

it’s not a clean, sterile smell

but more the aftermath of a large mess

that never quite came clean

downstairs a girl stares at me with bugged out eyes

she reminds me of several ex lovers at once

the stench still lingers

it seems it will never leave


Little Beat i made.


New one for all y’all. havent recorded in a while. Heads up i will be making a tape soon to be released around july, as well as zines and shirts. I will Post more on it soon. Thnx.





Marcus is dead.

still dead. 

No one ever bought the mac book.  

Final garage sale this weekend.  

There will be Ten High on ice and a Rad Beach Party reunion memorial afterwards.

“The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things. We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete. Remember to spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn’t cost a cent. Remember, to say, ‘I love you’ to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind. And always remember, life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by those moments that take our breath away.”

—   George Carlin (via ac1takervergil)

(via fruitthatateitself)

My lifestyle is my retirement plan.